Thursday 30 January 2014

James Bond: Gratin for Next Year

FYC: "James Bond: Gratin for Next Year" - Danny Dyer brings an earthy note to the espionaging English sociopathic sophisticate in yet another depressing realist interpretation of the franchise, this time helmed by Michael Haneke.

After an Iranian nuclear physicist is sent to Dubai for long term residential treatment after a stroke gives him vascular dementia, Bond is sent undercover as an orderly to try to recover as many memories of his work as possible before they are lost. Cue three hours of the glamorous spy wiping up shit and vomit and blood, whilst he grows increasingly frustrated and guilty whilst he pretends to the old man that he's his grandson to get the totally unreliable information off him, which his superiors are hoping can justify yet another oil war.

Ultimately Bond is hospitalised himself after a pathetic suicide attempt.

Includes the immortal line: "Me name's Bond, ya fahkin' slag! JAMES BOND!!"

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